Sunday, November 29, 2015

Three Articles Worth Reading

The bullwhip has arrived

It's here.

Six woven feet, dark brown, large sturdy handle, the scent of leather.

Eric called.

"Your bullwhip came early," I stated.

"Fantastic!" he replied.

"It looks kinda scary," I ventured.

"I'm not worried," he said.

"But... what if... I mean.... don't you... uh... wouldn't I..." I stammered.

"What makes you think it's for you?" he asked.
"You just might be getting a bull for Christmas."


Wednesday, November 25, 2015

A trip through the woods

This morning I woke to a soft dusting of white snow.

Leaves covered with powdered sugar; red, yellow, orange, brown.

"We're going for a drive," Eric said.

He is leaving tonight.  A trip long enough to miss Thanksgiving and his actual birthday.  I know better than to complain.  We've been down that path and it just hurts us both.  I smile and remind myself of all the good times we had last week, yesterday, today.

Eric drives, quite well, with one hand on the steering wheel and one hand on my ass.  He's had me over his lap, spanking me soundly, while maneuvering through traffic more than a couple of times.  I learned early on that being away from home means nothing when it comes to my bare bottom being reddened on the road.
I assumed this spontaneous "drive" was code for a quick reset before I was on my own.

"Pants down," he said, glancing in all of the mirrors to look for other drivers on the windy path up the side of the mountain.

I complied and undid the seat belt to find my way over his knee.

"Not today, Sweetheart," he said pushing me back against the seat.  His fingers slid down my breast, over my belly and onto my peach.  (That's what we call it now, since I don't like the word "pussy".)  OH... the way he can make me feel.  Fingers lightly tapping, stroking, circling; diving deeper and deeper into my wetness.

"Put the seat down, honey," his voice was strong and caressing.  "Relax.  Look at the clouds.  Enjoy this."

I lay back and let his magical hands go to work.  He pinched and tugged at just the right time.  He pulled back the hood, massaged the button and my head went fuzzy.  We hadn't even made it past the first hair pinned turned and I was lost in la-la land.  Twenty minutes of pure breathtaking pleasure.

We stopped for a family of deer.  I noticed him straining to break free from his jeans.  We parked and walked down the frozen path to a little bridge.

"I love you," Eric said as we stood, elbows on the wooden rail, looking down the hill through the forest of trees.

"Then catch me," I yelled, laughing and running to a small little cave under a tall set of wavy branches.  I crouched down and watched as my handsome husband walked toward me, shaking his head at the muddy tracks I'd made and he avoided by sticking to the grass covered ground.

When he reached me, I went to my knees and pulled his belt buckle apart and his zipper down.  I placed him deep into my mouth and searched with my tongue for the soft secret underbelly that I know is quick to make him cum.  Steadily, he pumped between my lips and just as the hot liquid filled my cheeks, he said, "Don't swallow.  I want to see."

I took every drop and then stood, opening my mouth for him to view the gift I had just received.  He smiled and I swallowed.  Pants back on, we walked to the car and my gentleman handed me a bottle of Scope. Always thinking, that one.

"Perfect honey," he said and I gazed into his gorgeous blue eyes.  "Too bad I have to spank you now," he continued, trying to sound sorry about the whole thing.

"Why?" I asked, doe eyed and woozy.  "What did I do?"

Eric pointed to the floor and I looked down at a trail of muddy shoe prints all over the passenger side.  No way to deny that one.  Over his lap I went.  I held onto his leg and closed my eyes as the sweet gentle hands from before carefully pulled the waistband of my pants down to my thighs.

One, two , three, four hard smacks and I was on fire.  His hand, as solid as the wooden spoon at home.

"I want this to last for the next six days," he said and five blows across my left side set a blaze so hot my back melted into a pool of sweat.

"Do you need more?" he asked and this time, instead of staying silent, I told him to feel my back.

Two fingers slid up and down my spine, affording me a moment to breathe and confirming for him, the power he currently had over my body.

Whack, whack, whack, whack, whack.

"Sit up."

I did and we drove home contented.

My ass still stings a bit and that was hours ago.

I love this man.

We may be apart, again, but I feel calm and warm and loved.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone.

We have a ton to be thankful for.


Tuesday, November 24, 2015

A direct order

"Here is my credit card.

Go online.

Find a leather bullwhip.

Buy it.

I want it here by Tuesday."




Sunday, November 22, 2015

Say what you want... you just might get it

It's a slow, chore based Sunday.

I've got books spread all over the table, floor and chairs.  Eric is up and down the ladder, cleaning gutters and setting up lights.

"Hey honey," he yelled popping his head in the door.  "I've got to run to Home Depot.  Be back in a bit."

I must have looked horrified because he stopped and walked inside.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

I stammered.  Couldn't find the words.

"What's up Sweetheart?  What's going on?"

"I want you to fuck my ass." I said, straight faced and to the point.


I thought the man was going to fall over.  I don't use words like fuck, pussy or ass.  I'll write them now and then but to speak them, completely not my thing.

"Did you just ask me to...?"  Eric was eyeing me in an am-I-on-candid-camera kind of way.

"I'm having a hard time focusing," I said.  "But I don't feel like a spanking.  I just want you to fuck my ass, rough, and then go to the hardware store.  Is that bad?"

Eric smiled.

It was not bad.

As a matter of fact, it was quite good.



Saturday, November 21, 2015

Eric's Birthday Surprise

"I think you need a little time with my belt," Eric said, looking at me from across the table at Denny's.  I had just informed him the auto repair bill for an oil change and two light bulbs was over $600 because I had agreed to an intermediate service even though he specifically told me I could wait on it.  He wasn't mad about the money so much as he felt the dealer had taken advantage of me and that I hadn't listened to him.

I took one of his pancakes and ripped it into a heart shape before meeting his eyes with mine.  My utter glee could not be hidden. A huge grin, especially when I'm in trouble, is pretty much a dead give-away that I've got something up my sleeve.

"Okay!" I said with far too much joy.

Eric looked confused so I reached into my purse and pulled out a birthday card.

"Surprise!" I exclaimed.  "We're celebrating your birthday today!!"

He smiled and shook his head, suddenly putting the pieces together - a heart shaped pancake (birthday tradition), a giddy wife who would normally be kicking herself for the car thing and three hours blocked out of the work day for no apparent reason.

"Thank you, Sweetheart." Eric said.  He looked so handsome while reading my heartfelt love letter.  A fresh new haircut, those brilliant blue eyes that reach into my soul and a genuine appreciation for the time I took to write him.

"Very nice." He reached forward and those hands I long for brushed across my arm until his fingers rested in mine and squeezed tight.  "Now I have two reasons to spank you," he whispered and winked.

I was so excited I thought I would pop right out of the booth.  I quickly pulled my hand away and grabbed a second card from my purse.  This one had a gift card in it for $55, one for each year of his life.  We both laughed at the name on the card, "Vanilla Visa".  Not my guy!

After breakfast we headed home, light and flirty conversation, the rest of the world nonexistent.

Not two minutes inside, Eric put on his HOH voice.  "Upstairs young lady!  You're getting the belt today."

I was ecstatic.  Eric keeps his thick black belt hanging in our closet, both a convenience and a reminder to me as we dress each day, and I had hidden his giant birthday gift in that closet. I couldn't have planned it any better.  He opened the door, grabbed the belt and walked into our bedroom.  There was no reaction nor mention of the present.

"Over the bed!" he commanded and I deflated, crushed that he hadn't see that large green and blue wrapped present taking up the entire center of the closet.  Eric broke out laughing and hugged me tight.

"I saw it," he admitted playfully tossing his belt on the spanking chair and sitting on a bench at the foot of our bed.  "Bring it to me," he said, now joining in the excitement and looking just like a kid at Christmas.

I struggled to get that heavy thing out and into the room, but it was so worth it. A few nights earlier, I had been running errands and came across a storage chest with two drawers.  Eric's been saying we need something to keep our toys (spanking implements, sex toys, etc.) in, as my old boot box is starting to tear and overflow. His eyes absolutely lit up when he saw the chest.  He immediately opened the main compartment (Where he found another gift - the flogger!  Also, we want to try a little bondage so I got a deck of how-to cards, a collar/cuff set and lovers tape.) and the drawers.  We pulled out all of our paraphernalia and went about arranging everything.
Well, you seriously cannot have all that stuff out and not use it!  Suffice to say, we had a blast.  I did get spanked with his belt for the auto dealer faux pas.  I also took 55 birthday spankings with the hair brush.  Believe it or not, I suggested we try out the flogger; okay, I suggested I try it out on him.  Guess what?  That got me 55 more! (Though he did let me "show" him ONE time what it felt like.)  And somewhere, in between all that spanking, I got a pearl necklace from a very satisfied birthday boy.  He even drew a heart on me with a sharpie.  Ahhh.  I love that man.

By 2 pm I was sitting in my office, buns on fire, head lost in the clouds.  
Such a fun day.
Happy Birthday, Eric!!

Thursday, November 19, 2015

Do you ever reverse roles? Spank the HOH?

Eric is out of town on his birthday so I'm surprising him tomorrow - a little more than a week early.

I've got lots of plans and lots of gifts but I'm wondering about the tradition of spanking the birthday person.

We just recently discovered that we both like him spanking me, but we've never flipped it.  I have no desire to punish him, nor do I think he would have an interest in that.  However, a birthday spanking and a pinch to grow an inch?  He is getting a flogger as one of his gifts (sounded too good to pass up).  Dare I try it on him first?!


Sunday, November 15, 2015

"Apparently somebody needs a spanking." Part Two

The quiet drive home let the layers of guilt I was taking on fill my head.  How could I put him through that and then not give him a heads up when it was over?  Why would I challenge him when he'd spent the last week truly being there for me?

The knot in my stomach grew and I just wanted to run away or curl up in a corner and retreat.

"Dinner on the table," Eric said, handing over the packages from the backseat of the car.  "And your panties come off," he added giving my bottom a sound smack as I exited the garage.

Plates, napkins, glasses.  Robotic, I managed to get everything in place before he came to the dining room.

"It's going to be a big night for you Amy," he said and leading me into the living room, bent me over the couch and raised my dress once again.  "Spread your cheeks," he commanded and the knot grew as a cold dab of lube pressed into my starfish, followed by the largest plug we own.  Tears of shame began to form in my eyes but before they could grow, Eric had me upright and seated at the table.

 "I want you to tell me all of the things you panicked about this week that turned out not to be a big deal," he stated but I couldn't speak.  

"Eat your food," he said pointing to my plate but I shook my head, uncomfortably aware of the plug and overcome with a sick feeling.

"Young lady," Eric's tone became one of confident control.  "You will stay there until every last thing on that plate is gone.  We can enjoy our meal together or you can sit in silence but either way, overreacting ends tonight."

I didn't say a word but ate my food and listened as Eric actually chatted about his job, his younger brother and his plans for our backyard.  He was relaxed and easy to be with.  His laughter spilled out following a tale about his childhood and he caught me smiling.  By the time dinner was done, we were almost playful in our washing of the dishes and at one point, he kissed me and said, "Honey, you've got to let things go."  

Upstairs, Eric unzipped my dress and hung it over the spanking chair (phew, not going there).  Then he undressed while I chatted in his ear about how much I missed him, what LOL days were like and ...

Suddenly, Eric's relaxed demeanor changed and gripping my shoulders, took me to my knees.

"That's enough chatter Amy," he stated, positioning himself right in front of me.  "You didn't want to talk at dinner so you're not going to talk now."  

Eric pulled a small rope from the chair where my dress lay (where did that come from?) and tied my hands behind my back.  Then he put his soft cock between my lips and instructed, "Make me hard."

My mouth went to work, tongue to tip, up and down as he ballooned inside of me.  Without my hands, he slipped and slid off to one side, out the corner, in all directions.  Each time, he'd gently swat a breast, an arm, a cheek. 

"Try again," he'd command.

Finally, Eric was rock solid and feeling rather accomplished, I breathed a sigh of relief.  On my feet, bent over the bed, I clasped my fingers together as he pulled out the plug.

"This is for me, Amy Lynn." Eric said putting a condom on. His huge shaft dove in where the plug had been until his balls rested up against my backside.  His hands held tightly to my hips and he rode in and out of me, forceful and strong, taking my ass one thrust at a time.  He was not gentle, like the first time, but he didn't hurt me either.  With each plunge I felt a sense of relief and my inner walls and clit began to glow.

Eric didn't cum.  He was very close but just when I was sure he would, he pulled out.  The condom came off and he untied my hands.  Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him reach for his pants and yank the belt from it's waist.  Without warning, the black leather smacked in quick hard succession ten times straight across my bottom.  I yelped and grasped at the bedding, determined to take what he thought I deserved.

Ass on fire, Eric threw the belt on the floor and turned me over on my back.  He grabbed my wrists and held my hands down close to my ears.  

"Don't move," he threatened, "Or I'm getting the belt again."

Then he stepped back and spread my legs, his fast wet tongue flicking around my clit and diving into my walls.  I moaned and my breathing intensified.  I told him I was close and he slapped my ass hard.  

"Not yet."

A few more licks and Eric was back on the bed with me.  He slid passionately inside and loved me deeply until we both came.

I could have stayed in his arms forever.

"Apparently somebody needs a spanking." Part One

It had been a terrible week.  Eric spent days listening to me cry on the phone about my job being in jeopardy, my friendships falling apart, and my schoolwork overwhelming me.

"Are you sure you aren't overreacting?" he would ask.  In response, I would blubber through all the evidence I had, proving my world was falling apart and causing him to feel terrible about not being home to help me.

Eric was on the road, knew I needed a reset and to be held, but wasn't available.  Self discipline, my coping method of the past, is no longer allowed so he did his best to talk me through my anxiety, push me to stay calm and ride it out.  I was, for all intensive purposes, an emotional wreck. The last two days of his trip, we had no way to communicate.  By Friday, he returned keyed up and expecting to spend the entire weekend rescuing his beaten down wife and bringing me back to life.

Well, call it a girl thing or whatever, I had such a great Wednesday and Thursday, I barely remembered all the crap that was still alive and boiling in his head.  Love Our Lurkers day introduced me to a number of new potential friends and it turns out, the one relationship I had been so stressed about was solved with a quick lunch and realization that we had both just been too busy to chat.  Work was smooth sailing and my homework was only overwhelming until I quit crying to Eric and buckled down to get it done.  Problems solved.  I was fine... I just hadn't let him know everything was better.

We met at a restaurant and Eric hugged me intensely before sitting on the same side of the booth, holding me close the entire time we scanned the menu.  We ordered and he took my face in his hands, eye to eye, while he apologized for not being there when I needed him and promised to make things right now that he was home.

"I'm fine," I said, nonchalantly sipping a tequila sunrise.

His teeth clenched as I continued.

"Friends, all good.  Work, no problem.  School, back on top of it."

The waitress walked by to refill water at the table next to ours and Eric waved her over.

"We'll take our food to go," he said.  "Apparently somebody needs a spanking."

My mind raced, embarrassed that he had implied to our server that "spanking" was part of our relationship and my eyes popped open wide as Eric's gentle embrace became a tight grip on my arm.

"I'm fine," I stammered and then whispered,  "I don't need a spanking anymore."

"Are you kidding me with this?!" he scowled and I was sure everyone in the place suddenly stopped talking. "You put us both through hell for days and now, everything is just fine?!"

Eric released my arm and stared forward until the food arrived, neatly packaged in boxes and bags.  He paid the tab and we walked to the car in silence, a dark cloud hanging uncomfortably in the air around us.  Once the door slammed shut, he turned and calmly began to speak.

"Honey, I asked you multiple times if you were overreacting about everything in your head.  You assured me, actually convinced me, everything was crashing around you and now suddenly its fine.  I can't hit a moving target, Sweetheart.  I need you to work with me."

As I type these words, I realize Eric was being kind and caring, doing his best to tell me he is there for me but that we need to make sure my anxiety is real and not all in my head.  However, I didn't get that at the time and the bratty one inside responded with, "Maybe YOU are the one who is overreacting right now!"

Eric took a very deep breath, started the car and held onto the steering wheel while he looked out into the parking lot.  After a few moments went by, he ordered me to sit on my hands.

"What?" I asked, not sure I had heard him correctly.

"Sit on your hands, NOW." he repeated and I jumped into action.

Eric reached over and pulled my dress up to my crotch and spread my legs apart.  His large hand rested firmly on that soft tender flesh of my left inner thigh.  I knew what was coming.  I squeezed my eyes shut and suddenly three sharp slaps reigned down, leaving Eric's hand print red and raised on my pale skin.  Tears welled up in my eyes and we began the drive home.  I dared not move.

(Have to finish later...)

Saturday, November 14, 2015

Saturday - my heart goes out to those in Paris

I rarely look at the news.  Life is hard enough without seeing all of the trauma and drama that media tends to display in a graphically extreme sensationalist manner.

The fact is,
             we all breathe.
                                We all eat.
                                            We all sleep.
                                                            We all feel.... love, hate, sadness, fear, joy, pain, happiness, despair, hope.

My heart goes out to those in Paris today.


Bring back the Bear Hug.

Hold the hand of a little one.



Outshine evil.

Friday, November 13, 2015

Calling all bloggers - please advise my husband! Help a girl out. :)

Happy Love Our Lurkers Day!

I've been lurking around and realize, having just started down this path in July, there is a MUCH bigger world out there than we ever imagined.  I've been whining lately because Eric will be traveling for work the last two weeks of December.  Boo hoo.  Well, today I'm brushing away those tears and asking you bloggers to send Eric my Christmas Wish List (seriously, he does owe me on this one).  Educate him on all of your favorites so I can experience them too.  For example, I've never read anything spanking related other than Fifty Shades of Gray - tell him your favorites and where to get them please!  We don't own a flogger.  Is that a mistake?  I'm not sure what a "strop" is.  Are we missing out?  And what about that leather spanking bench?  Is it scary to be strapped in?  So many things to try.

Oh! And I changed the settings so you can post anonymously if you prefer.  Share your favorites!  (Sex toys too.  :)  Eric will be home January 4th and like I said, he owes me for this one.)

X's and O's,

Thursday, November 12, 2015

Happy LOL Day Two!

Howdy Y'all,

Thank you for being there for us and encouraging our journey!

X's and O's

Amy and Eric

Wednesday, November 11, 2015

Lovin' Our Lurkers!!!

Ready for January 4

I'm just whining now.

Eric left his work schedule on the counter and I saw it.

He's flying out Thanksgiving Day and won't be home until December 2.

Thanksgiving - meh.  His birthday?  BIG POUT.

I can deal.  I'll have plenty of school work to occupy my time and we'll celebrate later.

Then I turned the page.

He's gone December 18 until January 3.  ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!!!!  He did this trip last year but it was the first two weeks in the month, not the last two.


Thank you for listening.

Saturday, November 7, 2015

Blogland.... give us the lowdown please

A counter... someone had a count of days since her last spanking... fun to watch!  How do we get it?

Blogs we follow - how do we get the list to update so when we start to follow someone new, they are added?

Lurkers?  Explain please.

Google plus... what exactly is it and should we be on it?

Subscribe?  Again, please clarify.

Comments - they mean so much.  How do we get more?

Other advice?

Thank you!!

Amy (and Eric from afar)

"I want to know" - A hard spanking; belt, paddle, spatula, spoon (photo)

"Show me," Eric said handing over his thick black leather belt. "I want to know."

I folded it in half, grasping tightly to the buckle and the tapered end, and swung as hard as I could.  The middle of the belt soared from my right hand, wrapped itself around the left side of my body and landed sharply on my right cheek. A red stinging square of pain formed and embarrassed, I looked over at Eric.

"Thank you," he responded, kissing my forehead and taking the belt from my hands.

I was single for a long time before we met.  I had children to raise, a full time job, financial worries and a myriad of anxieties that plagued me regularly.

Like everyone else, I learned to cope.  Sleepless nights would put my brain on overload and I'd devour caffeine and 5 hour energy shots to stay awake all day.  Stress would weigh on me so I'd eat fast food and candy bars to calm my nerves.  Fear would creep in and I'd run through the woods until I could barely breathe just to shake the anxiety. When I felt like I couldn't do anything well, couldn't keep up or wanted to give up, I'd "self discipline".  Those were dark days and difficult times.  It's the rarest of occasions that I ever go back but when necessary, I figured out what works for me.

Some people drink or do drugs. Some people cut themselves.  I understand why. In my case, emotional drama is altered quickly and effectively with physical pain. My brain shuts down all of the trauma in my head, focused only on my blazing cheeks, and I'm able to begin again.

About four years ago, I worked on changing my coping techniques by finding ways to be kind to myself rather than self destructive.  I learned that sleepless nights could be cured with a one hour massage over lunch or a power nap in the middle of the day.  Stress eating truly made me feel worse, so I'd hit the gym instead.  Reducing anxiety by desperation running became journal writing in a quiet space and when I did run, it was to feel strong and alive.  I even discovered that playing solitaire helped my brain focus when a million things were bringing me down. Something about putting the cards in order cleared the clutter and allowed me to tune back in.  Oh, and cleaning the house or vacuuming also proved to settle down the frantic thoughts in my head.  By the time I met Eric, I was very much on the road to being a happy, motivated, authentically driven girl.  Through consistent love and support, he enhanced every bit of the healthy me and wound his way into my heart.

It is only recently that Eric and I discovered we both have a taste for a non-vanilla relationship.  We've dabbled with dd, ttwd and this blog since July.  As we experiment and get closer, we've learned quite a bit about ourselves and one another.

Before being sent to the beach (Brilliant man - just what I needed to catch up!), I had found myself creeping toward the edge of "overwhelmed and floundering" a few too many times. Eric knew I needed a reset and he struggled with being on the road when I found myself at my worst.  I brushed off his feelings.

"No worries," I stated.  "I can take care of myself."

I've always wanted a partner but even after a few years of being together, I'm still learning what that means. To a man who works very hard at being my rock, the statement, "I can take care of myself" was rather hurtful to him. Thus began our "self discipline" conversation.

"I want to know what you would do and how you would do it," he insisted, "so I can better understand how to be there for you."

The vulnerable side of me wanted to run for the hills.

"I don't want you to feel like you ever have to go through anything on your own again."

Eric is very convincing.

Reluctantly, I showed him.  I showed him with the belt and told him about my past with the paddle, spatula and spoon.  He said he will no longer worry about physically hurting me by going too far.  I've been much harder on myself than he'd ever be.

In the end, Eric led me to the closet where my years of self discipline used to take place.  He turned me toward the racks of hanging clothes, bent me over and told me to hold on tight to a shelf halfway down the wall.

Three sound spanks with a heavy wooden cutting board and my bottom was on fire.

Eric wrapped his arms around my shoulders and held me so close, I could feel his breathing against my chest.

"I'm taking this away from you," he said tenderly kissing my lips.  "No more self discipline.  When you need it, I'll give it to you, but together we're going to work on you not needing it ever again."

That was yesterday and I basked in every word he said, but this morning when I woke up anxious about school and worried about work, and he was gone for four days again; I went down that path of insecure doubt.

"What if he leaves me?  What if I'm not good enough for him?  What if I disappoint or fail him? What if he gets tired of me or finds somebody else?"

I truly want and need to change the catastrophic thinking. It's a habit I began when I was alone and figured if I expected the worst, I could handle the actual.

I could use another trip to the closet and a "reset" today but with Eric on the road, I got a massage instead.  I also took the time to write this blog, hoping that any of you in the same situation will find some peace in knowing your are not the only one.

I'm starting to see that Eric wants to be there for me not just through the good times, but through all times. My relationship with him certainly matters more than my ability to "take care of myself" so I'll wait until he gets home. In the meantime, I'll work on positive ways to cope with me.  Spa anyone?


Monday, November 2, 2015

Last night at the beach - capzasin in play

"Go to the drugstore, sweetheart, and cover that sexy ass of yours to keep you focused one more day."

The beach resort has been wonderful - though it would have been so much better if I wasn't doing homework and if Eric was with me.  I've done a combination of blogging, homework, beach strolling, homework and relaxing; more homework.

This morning Eric called and when I admitted I'd spent three hours yesterday catching up on blog land, and then mentioned someone missing her Scotsman and using capzasin as a reminder - well, the rest is history.

Now I'm on the hotel bed, buns on fire, trying to focus on homework and dreaming of being back in Eric's arms.  He won't be home until Thursday and I return to the work grind tomorrow.

Until then....

What's new ladies?  I haven't heard from any of you in awhile.

Blondie?  Wilma?  Susie?  What's going on in your world?