Tuesday, June 25, 2019

Obey vs.Submit Writing Prompt... Not so Easy

Wilma suggested a writing prompt.  I was all in.  Been wanting to have a topic to explore.  Turned out, this one was not so easy.

What does it mean to submit? Submission is a matter of attitude, a matter of the spirit. What does it mean to obey? Obedience is a matter of the conscience, a matter of outward behavior. Submission is inward, whereas obedience is outward. – Witness Lee (The Difference Between Submission and Obedience)

First, Eric and I are of the same mind: you do you.  We do not judge anyone on their tastes, preferences, or dynamic so long as they don't press their beliefs on us.  And likewise, we do we, and we don't mind sharing our stories but not in such a manner to say we do it the right way.  We do it our way.  You do it yours.  Then, we can all learn from each other.

What does it mean to submit, what does it mean to obey?  Well, I really struggled with those two questions because I don't think I do either. I asked Eric.  He said he needed a bit to mull it over and then after looking up the definitions, came back with, "You obey more than you submit."

Suddenly, I was offended.  

"Really?!  I think I'd submit way before I'd obey.  I mean, you are not my boss nor do you own me.  You don't tell me what to do and if you did, my doing so would be me submitting, not obeying."

Eric grinned, "Somebody just got all riled up!  You obey me every time I tell you to get over my knee and if you keep that tone, young lady, I will gladly demonstrate."

I pondered it.  Everything.  Eric's "offer", my resistance to the word "obey", and my acknowledgement that yes, I do follow his direction when a spanking is involved.

"Words are important to you," Eric continued, "and based on your past, we are both very sensitive to you never feeling controlled by me or anyone else for that matter."

He's right.  I want/like/need him in an HOH kind of role for us but I am super sensitive about my independence.  I would say I obey my husband but I don't blindly obey him.  And the fact is, Eric rarely if ever gives me direction. When he does, it is either in play or because I am needing him to take the reins for awhile.

Somehow I'm feeling as though our dynamic is a disappointment to most.  We love spanking - for sexual play, for a desired reset, and once in a blue moon for discipline.  Most of the time, a punishment spanking is contrived; built out of my curiosity on how a certain implement will feel, or a bar of soap will taste, or corner time will play out.

For me, submitting is handing over my decision making and responsibilities to the man I love and married. It's my way of letting his manhood shine; the protector and provider in our family.  Obeying?  If Eric asked me to do something I would out of love and the desire to make him happy.  I'm not one to say no to him. Maybe submission is that letting go and leaning in that makes me feel like we are one and he happens to be at the front of our marriage, while obeying is more the outward action of saying, "yes, I will take care of what you want".

"Am I overthinking this?" I asked after days of haunting him with questions and conversation and pillow talk that seemed to never end.

"Whether you are or not," came his reply, "I'm going to keep doing what I'm doing. So there!" 

And SMACK, came the sweet stinging palm of his hand across my behind.


PS- I still don't know what I think about the whole obey vs. submit question.  WILMA!!!!!!  Start me off with an easier topic. ;) You've turned my brain to mush.

Monday, June 17, 2019

Old Friends and a lot of I Should

Here's hoping everyone enjoyed Father's Day.

While Eric was out with his grown child, I landed in a room with familiar faces, old friends I hadn't connected with in quite some time.  We all said the same thing.

"I should blog some more."

We met, years ago, my mentors.  They were the first to reach out to me and get me started on the path that was right for us.  They held my hand through the ups and downs of discovering this dynamic, the trials and errors, the highs and lows, the expectations, disappointments, anticipation, and more.

"I should start blogging again."

We talked about control and consistency.  Personalities emerged.  Is there control without consistency? Is there consistency without control?  We all agreed that life gets in the way of a perfectly mapped out dynamic, thoughtfully sketched on a piece of paper and signed off by both parties.

"I should reconnect with blog land."

There are new bloggers out there.  Some new to the dynamic, others simply new to writing about it.  There are more seasoned veterans out there, somehow keeping up with life, the land, and a pattern of mentoring those who have dipped a big toe in it all.

"I should blog consistently."

Right now, I should be sleeping.  I've injured my back and poor Eric rubbed it until he nodded off for the tenth time tonight and I still can't get comfortable.  I've given up trying, to sleep that is. Instead, I'm blogging, for old time sake, for old friends, and to check that box called "I should".


Saturday, June 8, 2019

Hello World!

My hubby came home and we've spent the last week and a half traveling to the beach and getting reacquainted.  Good times. Good good times.

The man, however, was not in the door one hour before he had me stripped down to nothing.  He stood in front of the spanking chair, fully clothed, and told me the following:

"While I was away, I realized from some of our conversations and letters that you don't know what I see when I look at you."

Then he went inch by inch down my entire body, letting me know everything he sees from top to bottom.  

"Pretty girl"

"Beautiful blue eyes"

"Sexy boobs"

"Sweet ass"

"Long legs"

I lapped it up, the compliments, the loving looks, the kind gesture.  He made sure I knew what he wanted me to know and then when I went in for a grand luscious kiss, he popped me over his knee on the spanking chair.

OMG!  The man went to town, spanking one cheek after the other, with his strong muscular hand. Either he was spanking harder than usual or I forgot how painful a true punishment could be.

"Why are you getting this spanking, Amy Lynn?" Eric asked in between swats.

I stammered.

"I was careless and got my phone stolen? I put too much on the closet shelf and broke it? I forgot to call on the phone bill and got charged for activation fees when they should have been waived?"

With each guess, Eric's hand got two or three good hard slaps in.

"No," he would say. 


I finally gave up, ready to throw my hand back to cover my pinking skin.

"You will never again write me a Dear Eric letter while I am traveling or EVER!"

Let me tell you, the spanking I thought was about to end suddenly picked up speed and I felt every paragraph that I had written doubting our love during the prior six months.  Trust me, not going to forget for a long time.  I'll keep my writing to blogging, about the good things in life. 

Since then, no spankings but lots of loving and playing and hanging out nose to nose in bed. It's been wonderful.

Time to get back to routines at home.  Eric will be here at the very least through the summer.  Life is slowly returning to normalcy. 

Glad to be back in Blog Land.  Did I miss anything good?  Give us the high lights!

(Eric says hi)