Sunday, February 10, 2019

Real Talk with Amy Lynn - Anal Sex

Anal sex is a big part of Eric and my relationship, and it is something we both enjoy tremendously.  Here's a shocker for you.  We actually had anal sex for a little over a year before we ever had vaginal sex.

"Whaaaa?" you say.  "How does that happen?"

Of course, there is a huge back story but the short version is, when Eric and I met I was struggling every single day to get over being raped and assaulted by someone I once completely trusted.  The pussy was subsequently closed for business and I believed enjoying sex was something I would never be able to do again.  Fortunately, my love is a very patient man, and the closer we got, the more we wanted to be intimate but psychologically, I couldn't go there.  Somehow, anal sex felt different.  I was face down over the bed. It felt raw and wild, without the sensuality and love that would go with trust and traditional sex.  After about fourteen months, we tired anal sex with me flipped on my back.  Still anal but I could look into his eyes, kiss his lips, and hold his hand.  It took only one time and my body let go of the past enough to let Eric in my broken places.  That said, in my mind we are somewhat well versed in the anal scene so I thought I'd share some tips for those of you who want it but may or may not have had a good initial experience.

First, anatomically, don't think about it in too much detail.  You'll fill your head with fears.  What if it's messy?  What if he's offended?  What if it hurts? Why would anyone want that? What if I hate it?  The reality is, that area is nice and tight for the guy and is filled with delicious nerve endings that make for incredible sex for the girl, if it is done correctly.  So, let's get started.

Prep: If you are worried about being unclean, do an enema beforehand but do it 1.5 to 2 hours beforehand.  If you do it right before, your body will not take kindly to another intrusion and there still may be some runny remnants of the enema.  Once you're cleaned out, about 15 minutes before you intend to play, you can take a hot bath and wear a plug.  As for men, we have a steadfast rule that you always wear a condom during anal sex.  Doesn't matter that your married, or monogamous. It's not worth risking either of you getting an infection.

During:  The key here is lube and entry.  It takes a full minute and a half for the body to adjust to being penetrated so take your time.  Go slow and if it hurts, stop and wait.  Then move in a little more.  You have to talk to each other and make sure everyone is comfortable before you get going. If Eric is going longer than I want, I reach my hand back and lightly bounce his balls.  Makes him pop every time.

Once you get good at basic anal sex, you can add a toy.  The first time I used my rabbit vibrator in the front, with Eric in the back, we both had massive orgasms.  He could feel the vibration on his cock, everything was tight, and the rabbit ears on my clit while he stimulated everything in back, sent me to the moon.

After:  Life is messy and sometimes anal sex is too.  Dispose of the condom, slide into a nice hot bubble bath together and don't make each other uncomfortable about anything that did or didn't happen.  Remember, making your partner feel good, no matter what the situation is, just leads to more experiences you can share together.

Still scared?  I am a firm believer in trying things out yourself before you try it with your partner.  If you are interested in anal but are still feeling uneasy, buy a glass anal dildo.  You can play with it to see how it feels and how your body reacts before your man is involved.  The nice thing about glass is you can heat it in hot water before use, which helps in relaxing.  Lube and time - go slow and once you relax, start moving the way your man will. Practice until you are comfortable and then make his night by being the one to suggest it for a change.

For those of you who are not into anal, just ignore this post.  It works for us and as in any relationship, it's shared desires that make being together so magical.

Take care!
Amy

12 comments:

  1. First off. let me acknowledge how sweet it was that you both managed to overcome your trauma.

    Secondly, you gave some pretty great advice. The only thing I could add would be that not all lubes are created equal. For those who maybe haven't thought about this, keep in mind that the anus does not self lubricate like the vagina, so you are going to need a good lube ( I find the water base ones evaporate more). When we discovered we had to keep adding more lube (which is fine, ladies please speak up it isn't supposed to become uncomfortable) I turned to the expert- my gay friend R. LOL. Anyway we are fond of silicone lube ( check reviews if you are buying online). Also don't let the enema idea scare you, B is pretty spontaneous now with anal. The area you are dealing with generally isn't a storage space, so if you have already had a BM that day, it will merely be residual if anything at all.

    Like Amy said, practice with plugs first. The anus goes back to size so upping the ante size wise is a mental thing only, but that is good. You need to be prepared for it. Oh and as my gf told me years ago, " Make sure you play with the 'button' a LOT before going in.." Prep work is key- and OH so worth it!

    Good info Amy!
    willie

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    1. Good points Willie. We are fans of Astroglide. Thanks for the comment. I wasn't sure if this post was going to be too much for Blogland but ultimately, I think people like getting this kind of information whether they admit it or not.
      Amy

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  2. Hi Amy,

    How wonderful you and Eric were able to overcome.

    Anal sex hasn't been for us so far. Thank you for sharing this great advice.

    Hugs
    Roz

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    1. Each to her own Roz but if you ever decide to give it try, you now have the key to a wonderful first!
      Amy

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  3. Awe Amy! How amazing that you two have connected so deeply! That you trust him after such a trauma! That Eric is a REAL man! How blessed you are to have him in your life.

    Thanks for the information.

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    1. Yes Boo. I am truly a lucky girl to have met Eric. I don't know how long I would have gone, if I ever would have been able to, have a healthy sex life again. His patience and determination to help me be the best I can be has brought me leaps and bounds ahead of where I ever thought I would be. He's a good guy. Just not around nearly as much as I'd like but I know he loves his job too. Can't make him choose. Just have to wait my turn.
      Amy

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  4. Oh, Amy, what an amazing man you have to take his time with you, to help you through the trauma without pressuring you.{{{HUGS}}} I am so glad that he worked with you on what you could do and still made it special. :)

    We do anal, not a lot, but oh my, I love it. :) It's often unplanned here, but because I have a few bm's a day, we usually never encounter a mess. If we do, the Duke tells me not to worry, that is what the body is for, and he's not frightened or turned off by it in the least.

    We tried several lubes, and for us, KY Jelly is what worked best. These are some great tips. Thank you for sharing. We have really enjoyed this in our lives, and so many people in person tell me they will never, ever, and I feel sad that they could be missing out on something they would love. But, oh well, I wouldn't want anyone telling me I had to try something I didn't want to either. lol

    Hugs, EsMay

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    1. Thank you EsMay. A good point for the newbies. Once anal becomes a regular part of a sex routine, the prep work is minimal if at all. Haven't tried KY but we like Astroglide. Available most anywhere. LOL
      Amy

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  5. I'm so sorry Amy, that you've been through the trauma of sexual assault. However, on the other hand, you now have a man strong enough to help you recover from that trauma and to be a partner in your exploration of ttwd. Hoping the intervening weeks and months zoom by ... you are soon in his arms again ... big hugs! ... nj ...
    PS .. and thanks for the informative back door lesson :>))

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    1. When I think back, NJ, I'm surprised how I used to live: panic attacks, anxiety, fear. It seems as though that was a totally different person. I am extremely grateful to have Eric in my life and he has helped me to get stronger and stronger every day. May 31.... what's three more months? Ugh. You may have to suffer through a few more posts before that time comes.
      Amy

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  6. Yay for anal sex! I am so sorry that you had to go through such an ordeal. I can only imagine how strong and brave you are. You gave a very informative post and I could find nowhere anything you missed. We have anal sex and besides for lube, it's pretty much the same thing as vaginal. I can't believe I wrote/said that. I never talk about my sex life......

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    1. Welcome to talking about your sex life, Blondie! I think it's good for us to share sometimes. People are so afraid of what they don't know but then we don't share when we do know. Glad you popped on! Amy

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