Anal sex is a big part of Eric and my relationship, and it is something we both enjoy tremendously. Here's a shocker for you. We actually had anal sex for a little over a year before we ever had vaginal sex.
"Whaaaa?" you say. "How does that happen?"
Of course, there is a huge back story but the short version is, when Eric and I met I was struggling every single day to get over being raped and assaulted by someone I once completely trusted. The pussy was subsequently closed for business and I believed enjoying sex was something I would never be able to do again. Fortunately, my love is a very patient man, and the closer we got, the more we wanted to be intimate but psychologically, I couldn't go there. Somehow, anal sex felt different. I was face down over the bed. It felt raw and wild, without the sensuality and love that would go with trust and traditional sex. After about fourteen months, we tired anal sex with me flipped on my back. Still anal but I could look into his eyes, kiss his lips, and hold his hand. It took only one time and my body let go of the past enough to let Eric in my broken places. That said, in my mind we are somewhat well versed in the anal scene so I thought I'd share some tips for those of you who want it but may or may not have had a good initial experience.
First, anatomically, don't think about it in too much detail. You'll fill your head with fears. What if it's messy? What if he's offended? What if it hurts? Why would anyone want that? What if I hate it? The reality is, that area is nice and tight for the guy and is filled with delicious nerve endings that make for incredible sex for the girl, if it is done correctly. So, let's get started.
Prep: If you are worried about being unclean, do an enema beforehand but do it 1.5 to 2 hours beforehand. If you do it right before, your body will not take kindly to another intrusion and there still may be some runny remnants of the enema. Once you're cleaned out, about 15 minutes before you intend to play, you can take a hot bath and wear a plug. As for men, we have a steadfast rule that you always wear a condom during anal sex. Doesn't matter that your married, or monogamous. It's not worth risking either of you getting an infection.
During: The key here is lube and entry. It takes a full minute and a half for the body to adjust to being penetrated so take your time. Go slow and if it hurts, stop and wait. Then move in a little more. You have to talk to each other and make sure everyone is comfortable before you get going. If Eric is going longer than I want, I reach my hand back and lightly bounce his balls. Makes him pop every time.
Once you get good at basic anal sex, you can add a toy. The first time I used my rabbit vibrator in the front, with Eric in the back, we both had massive orgasms. He could feel the vibration on his cock, everything was tight, and the rabbit ears on my clit while he stimulated everything in back, sent me to the moon.
After: Life is messy and sometimes anal sex is too. Dispose of the condom, slide into a nice hot bubble bath together and don't make each other uncomfortable about anything that did or didn't happen. Remember, making your partner feel good, no matter what the situation is, just leads to more experiences you can share together.
Still scared? I am a firm believer in trying things out yourself before you try it with your partner. If you are interested in anal but are still feeling uneasy, buy a glass anal dildo. You can play with it to see how it feels and how your body reacts before your man is involved. The nice thing about glass is you can heat it in hot water before use, which helps in relaxing. Lube and time - go slow and once you relax, start moving the way your man will. Practice until you are comfortable and then make his night by being the one to suggest it for a change.
For those of you who are not into anal, just ignore this post. It works for us and as in any relationship, it's shared desires that make being together so magical.