Sunday, July 15, 2018

Things that have caused me to get punished over the years

This "get Amy out of the blue funk" prompt came from Wilma, as did the prompt idea. Thanks Willie!

"Amy Lynn!  Get yourself up those stairs NOW young lady. You're about to be Red Ass Amy," occasionally rings throughout our home when Eric is fully prepared to get his HOH on.

We have three types of spankings here.
1. Playtime - a great prelude before sex, during sex, but rarely if ever, after sex.
2. Reset - my brain seems to be running a million miles a minute about 100,000 different things. A reset allows me to focus on just one thing, the spanking.  As a result, everything else in my head takes a back seat and I am able to deal with things in a rational and pragmatic way instead of bouncing all over the board.
3. Punishment - rarely but there are times....

This prompt was about punishment spankings so here we go with number 3!

I suppose I get punished most often for being "mouthy" as Eric puts it.  The man has a brain like an elephant and rarely forgets anything. We are not adversarial in nature but when he's about to go on another traveling stint, I tend to be more emotional and say things, challenging type things, that I would never say knowing he could be on my butt a moment later. Eric always remembers those things, even weeks later, but at the time, I always forget that he won't.  Anyway, mouthy usually finds me otk with a sound hand spanking, often long after the offense so it tends to serve as a way to get back on track with our ttwd lifestyle.

My most memorable punishment was actually a spanking I received for something that happened when I was five or six.  I was playing with matches and ended up lighting a tree on fire.  It was very scary and I never told my parents, but instead carried that guilt for thirty-five years.  I told Eric the story and he didn't skip a beat. I was lectured about the dangers of playing with matches, about hiding something that could risk someone's life, and about not using my own brain when it came to right and wrong. (There were older kids involved at the time.) I'll never forget him saying, "I'm going to spank you for this because I don't ever want you to forget what you've learned today. Then it is over and you don't have to feel guilty anymore."  He followed with a hard bare bottom spanking with a slatted wooden spoon that left many imprints both physically and mentally.  After all those years, I was finally able to let go and quit thinking about and feeling bad about that fire.

Overall, most of my punishment comes from beating myself up and listening to a negative inner voice.  Eric can deal with mistakes I make; be it wrecking the car, forgetting to do something, and even being cranky and moody.  However, he will not allow me to carry unnecessary guilt or negative feelings about myself. Oh... and if I really want to get my ass tanned, I just need to let someone take advantage of me when I know better, rather than speaking up for myself. "Couldn't find your voice, Amy?" he'll say. "Let me help you locate it."  Uh oh!!

Well, there you have it.  I sure could use a spanking now.  Eric has been gone way too long and we  miss it.  I think we were both surprised to learn how much he craves it now that we've gone down this path.  I always knew I wanted it but because I only like the receiving end, I was concerned it was something he would "have to" do for me. He's been pretty clear that he likes to do it though.  We just lucked out that we are opposite as to who wants what position.  Phew!  ;)

Amy

4 comments:

  1. Wow, Amy. I have never thought about a spanking to clear the conscience about a mistake from long ago. I could make a long list. Things I still obsess over. You have given me much to think about.

    You have so much to deal with when Eric is gone. Your situation is a tough one, and I think that is why your blog is such a favorite of mine to visit.

    Hugs From Ella

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hi Amy,

    I enjoyed reading this, it seems beating ourselves up and negative self-talk is a sure fire way to spark our guy into action for many of us. I hadn't thought of a spanking to clear the conscience over an historic incident either. Hmm, food for thought.

    Hugs
    Roz

    ReplyDelete
  3. yeah, negative self talk is to blame for a lot of things.

    It surprised me to hear that BIKSS craves the spankings too - at least I didn't feel like I was being "strange" and that he thinks of it as a part of us, not just something he does FOR me.

    ReplyDelete
  4. "Red Ass Amy!" I love the alliteration.

    I too most often get punished for being mouthy. Or bratty, which manifests itself as mouthy.

    ReplyDelete

Thank you for reading! Thank you even more, if you decide to comment. :)