How do I read when to stop? My wife has shown that sometimes I stop too soon. We haven't ever gone too far.
Consistency. She has moods and sometimes it is frustrating to not discipline in the moment, but I don't want to discipline angry. We have problems with being consistent on a daily basis as life gets in the way. I need to redirect during those times and would appreciate suggestions on what others do or think.
Eric: As Amy and I got more in tune with each other and this dynamic, she became comfortable letting me know what she was feeling and how far I could take things. I always say, this is not a silent movie. Speak up. By giving me the keys, I can do a better job in my role. Amy has taught me that the spanking is only part of the experience. Taking my time, having the conversation, corner time or something to focus on - touching on the emotional/mental side is as important as the physical. I don't worry about going too far because we have a safe word. There have been times when I think she's taken all she can but I ask if she's had enough. Sometimes she's said no. You both need to talk. It's a tango. You both need to dance.
It's hard for us to be consistent when I'm traveling all the time. We've come up with other things to keep Amy's mind where she is happiest. Sometimes I'll have her self discipline while we're on the phone. Sometimes I'll give her a list of things to get done while wearing a plug or some capsicum. It's all about the connection. When life gets in the way, do your best to connect one way or another.
Can't say I've ever disciplined while angry but I have been frustrated with Amy as times. I find whispering in her ear what I'll be dishing out later (you're getting the belt tonight, young lady) is enough to swing her. The key is to follow through. If you don't plan on doing something, don't say you will. The anticipation is just step one. The discipline that comes later is step two. The love afterwards is step three. We always talk about it the next day. I need to know how she really feels and find she's more open a day or so later.
Amy: To clarify - the plug is one thing. Capsicum is something all together different. They are not a package deal. ;0