Tuesday, February 13, 2018

The Key Word is Frustration

I have become the toddler in the house. Dependent on Eric for everything I want or need - a bath, my hair washed, food, trying to get comfortable enough to fall asleep in bed, and then messing it all up having to use the restroom in the middle of the night.  I am the toddler who knows what I want but can't do it for myself.

I don't have a language barrier like small baby people do. Communicating my needs is not the problem but I do have a sense of empathy for Eric and don't want to drive him crazy with too many requests.  So, I limit my demands and bide my time but could easily flip into the "terrible twos" and explode due to all of the frustration in my head.

Image result for terrible twos

Over the weekend, I was pampered and bathed. Had my hair washed, body rubbed down with lotion, and gently kissed, stroked, and loved.  It was wonderful and Eric did everything right.  I will cherish that memory for a lifetime.

Here's where I come off as a total ungrateful bitch.

Less than half a day later, I'm a raging maniac.  I have so much frustration built up that I truly want to scream at the top of my lungs.  Eric was in the study, working on some stuff from home.  HOME.  Yes, he's here.  It is what I wanted. Needed.  I am so happy about it but rather than smiling I'm stuck on this couch screaming, "PAY ATTENTION TO ME!!!!"

Image result for pay attention to me

Eric hands me my laptop. "Write something," he says.

"I need to run around," I wail. "I need to get off this damn couch."

Eric hands me a sandwich. "Eat something," he says.

"I need to be outside," I moan. "I need sunlight and fresh air and freedom."

Eric hands me a book. "Read something," he says.

"I am not a sit still passive kind of person," I snap. "I can't spend my whole life just sitting on my ass doing nothing."

Eric sighed.

"Young lady," he said coming over and plunking down next to me.  "If either of us could have our way right now, you wouldn't be able to sit on your ass because I would have taken a belt to you three days ago when you mouthed off for the first time."

Image result for adult spanking with a belt

I blinked at him, seeing the color in his cheeks and the furrowed brow on his forehead.

"You can still spank me," I mumbled, head down and wondering if he could hear the pleading in my voice or if it was over shadowed by my distaste that he hadn't already upended and completely spanked my bottom.

"I'm not doing it," he replied.  "I'm not going to spank you when you're all bandaged up and just had surgery.  Get it out of your head, Amy Lynn. It's not going to happen."

I yelled.  I mean, I literally yelled.  There were no words.  It was just loud and guttural, like an angry bear in the woods. (Not that angry bears in the woods growl like that. It's just the idea I have in my brain of what a bear in the woods would do if he or she were angry.)

Anyway. Eric laughed.

You read that right.

He laughed.

He sat there, shaking his head, and laughing at the verbal fit I was throwing from the couch.

"Looks like somebody's got the tiger by her tail," he said between giggles.

Image result for got a tiger by the tail

I was so angry, the pressure inside me rapidly grew and then, like a volcano erupting, I burst out and laughed too.  There really was nothing else to do.  We are both beyond frustrated and only time can change this situation. It is absolutely out of our control. No way around it. It is what it is.

After we wiped our tears away (yes, we laughed so hard we were crying), Eric gave me a hug and kissed my mouth hard.

"I'm going back to work," he said. "but don't think once that knee is fixed, you won't be getting paddled for all of this whining. I'm keeping track."

He winked and I grinned. Beamed, as it were. Under a blankie and flannel pajama's, my bottom tingled in anticipation of his palm, the cheese board, Sir Strap; anything crashing down and setting it on fire.

Our frustration has dropped about 12% since that little repartee. Eric is back in the study and I'm blogging.  Both of us are waiting. Patiently. (NOT really. Patience is the gene I was born without.)

Tomorrow is Valentine's Day.  Maybe I should make Eric a card out of red construction paper like I did back in elementary school. Love the idea but of course, I would have to ask him to get the art stuff out of the upstairs closet.

Grrrrrr!!!!

Here we go again.

Image result for woman like a volcano ready to erupt

Amy

22 comments:

  1. This actually made me laugh- in an knowing way! lol

    Anyway, here is a little light reading. You might find a question or two to ponder here ( Submissive Coffee Club writing prompts). I know I have.


    http://sccwriting.tumblr.com/tagged/prompts

    Hope you find a balance soon.

    willie

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    Replies
    1. I hope I find balance soon too. It's hard enough getting my own life together but then I sit on my butt all day watching horrific fatalities of school children by a child (19 is NOT a man) and I'm a mess. Heartbroken for so many families.
      Amy

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  2. Amy,
    The old score card at your house too! He is right though........ no spanking when you are ill, hurt or down. These men have steel trap minds so they do remember. Take care and get completely well. I am rooting for you.
    Meredith

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    Replies
    1. The score card is getting rather long. I've gotten quite down with the news and all recently. Made a comment tonight about nobody wanting the broken girl know Eric added that one to his list. Not a happy man this afternoon. It's just tough now.
      Amy

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  3. Hi Amy, you really really need to enjoy the rest, it won't last long.....Poor Eric, lol
    love Jan, xx

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    Replies
    1. Poor Eric?!!!!

      Yes. I know. Poor Eric.

      :)
      Amy

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  4. I'm sorry things are hard right now- but at least you have Eric with you... you've got to count your blessings and relax. This is the time for you to rest and be loved.
    And think about that trip that is coming... even at this point you will have a sore bottom on the way there, lol.
    Hugs,

    Jlynne

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    Replies
    1. Thinking about the trip. Thinking about what I'm thankful for. Thinking about those poor families in Florida.
      Amy

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  5. I have gone through this several times, and it is difficult when it feels like the roles have disappeared. This is a time to watch a television series that you never have time for. The last time I watched an excellent series called Justified. I organized 30 years of old photos one time. Download a book that will spur you on with your FFF goals when the knee is healed.

    Eric is being a prince, you lucky girl. Take care.

    Ella

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Last night I picked Ella Enchanted to watch on Netflix. It's about a baby who is given the gift of Obedience! Hmmm. Ella? Are you obedient? Maybe I should be asking Sam. :)
      Amy

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  6. I do understand his reluctance to spank - but Ben-Gay or something like it over what he'd like to spank can give a nice burn without risk. No it's not the same, but that feeling would be more fun to concentrate on that the pain in your knee.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This is a good idea. I know we have a tube of capsicum somewhere in this house.

      Read your sad post. Just want to hug you.
      Amy

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  7. Amy sending you healing vibes and a suitcase full of patients my friend. Your poor man is doing the best he can, at least he arrived home early to be with you. Remember the carrot is dangled.......be good.
    Hugs Lindy xx

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    Replies
    1. Every night before I fall asleep, I shall chant:
      "The carrot is dangled, be good. The carrot is dangled, be good." :D
      Amy

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  8. I would be the same as you if I were in your position

    Make the most of sitting as comfortably as you can now as from the sounds of it you wont at ll once you're healed:)

    Love,
    Ronnie
    xx

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    Replies
    1. Good point. I should enjoy it while I can.
      Amy

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  9. Hope that you heal up really soon, Amy!:) They do say that laughter is the best medicine. I beg to differ, as well all know that some nice spanky business can likely take first place there! HAHA! Glad that you had a good laugh about it all in the end... until Eric can attend to your end! :)

    You can do it! Many hugs,

    <3 Katie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Saw your response on PK's post about the @$@%#%(% wall. You made me laugh but only because of the swear words. I agree with you. We need to do something to keep more children from being gunned down at school.
      Amy

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  10. That's gotta be difficult. I don't do idleness well either. I can imagine it's all the frustration coming out in other ways.

    At least you had a good laugh. And for good or ill, you'll be getting your payback after you heal! :)

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    1. I'm hanging in there, Lea. Thanks for checking in. I've been keeping up with your posts. You've got a great attitude about life. I go to you for a boost!
      Amy

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Thank you for reading! Thank you even more, if you decide to comment. :)