Relapse

Lying on my back, on the bed

My chest heaves as though I had just run a marathon

Rather than slowly make my way to the sink

to cough up a large yellow ball of slime

The past two weeks have been grand.

Eric home, parties and gifts

Family, friends: no time for the laptop

Bloggers on my mind but tucked in a desk drawer

He is on the road again

My plans included dinner with the girls

Catching up on mail; both postal and internet

A weekend of productivity with work looming ahead

There is a jack hammer in my chest

It sounds with every breath and keeps me awake

I stay perfectly still, try not to rupture the volcanic cough

that sends me into the bathroom again

Like a cat with a hairball

I wheeze

Face melting under the strain of mucus

Eyes dry but watery, how can that be?

The relapse has come in full force

Strong and powerful

Condemning any chance I have

At peace.