Saturday, January 20, 2018

Ready for a Change

Eric is on the road again.  Before he left, we knew I needed a round with the paddle.  I've been sloppy over the holidays with spending, over-eating, lack of exercise, and other expected behavior.  No big deal but one that we agree must be dealt with.  And then there is the sooky la la bit about Eric going back to work.  I was so sick with the relapse that Eric was sleeping downstairs and staying as far away from me as possible so he wouldn't get it.  I got ten hard whacks with the paddle and think the poor man held his breath the entire time. 

Then, Eric went off to the airport and slowly but surely, I got better.  We've spent hours and hours on the phone talking about his job because this trip is not going well.  Things with this new client are just not good.  He's all over the board and Eric gets stuck jumping in one direction with hours and hours poured into something that a week later the guy blows off as unimportant or worse, doesn't remember asking for.  It's a mess and to top it off, the guy is an ass.  Sorry. He just is.  So, Eric and I've spent most of our time talking him off the ledge.  He is taking a four day weekend playing tourist right now in hopes of relieving some stress and being able to face the ass again.  This won't last forever but I've never seen anyone weigh so heavily or cause such a physical reaction to my husband. He could retire.  He has things he wants to do with the company first but I wonder if that's just an excuse because he doesn't know what he wants to do next, when he does leave this career.

Anyway, Friday he was off touring and I had a nasty run in with my boss, who is so much like Eric's client it is uncanny. By noon, I was in a restaurant with my work pals, spitting nails I was so mad.  I do not "hate" anyone or anything very readily and I was actually using the words, "I hate working for that man. I hate working with that man.  I'm starting to hate that man." It was awful.  On the way home, Eric asked that I swing by his office and grab some paperwork.  While I was there, his client called the secretary and just reamed her about numbers and data and how Eric was supposed to get him this stuff before he left and blah, blah, blah.  She was visibly shaken and immediately stopped chatting with me to respond to his fit.  Turns out, Eric had sent him everything he wanted the week before and he just couldn't find the file.  Of course, he blamed Eric for sending it too soon.  There are some people you just can't win with, no matter how hard you try.

It's Saturday and I'm wondering why we are stuck in this place.  I love my job but hate my boss.  Eric loves his career but hates his current client.  We both want to be healthier: lose some weight, exercise a bit, spend more time together, explore some places we've talked about forever... yet we put all of that aside and succumb to the stress that one or another people puts us under.  I'm nowhere near being able to retire but why I don't get off my butt and eat healthy, get in shape, do the things that make my relationship strong. Ugh. I have the dream, the goals, the motivation but zero stick-to-itness when a lousy day gets dealt with by stomping around, eating junk, sleepless nights, and all around bad vibes.

Help Mr. Wizard! How do we get out of this cycle?  I want to move away from here.  I want Eric to walk with me, hand in hand, to another lifestyle.  The kids are grown.  The responsibilities are different.  I've not got the patience to deal with entitled, stupid, inept people who use their little man power to make everyone else's lives hell.  I truly am ready for a change.  A major change.  I just hope Eric comes home wanting the same.



  1. OH that sounds dreadful, both your boss and Eric's sickening client. I've heard stories like that from BIKSS about his boss too, and thankfully he's decided that he should start shopping around for a new job.

    It's always stressful when one feels "stuck" in a position one is unhappy with.

    And i guess that's why the comfort food is there - maybe you could jump-rope your anger away instead? or something that you don't mind too much (i know going to the gym sucks for me, but i don't mind mopping the house!) that could burn up some calories and distract you from the junk food?

    i know i'm probably not helping (talk is cheap sometimes...) so feel free to chuck out the advice, but just now I can relate - and senidng positive vibes and hugs over!!

  2. Talk is cheap when it comes from people who like to judge you or cut you down. However, talk is never cheap coming from someone who cares. Thank you so very much for taking the time to not only hear me, but write a comment with practical and thoughtful suggestions. I appreciate it more than you know. So, off my bum this morning. I will go to the gym. And then, I'm going to update my resume. If I really get a handle on things, I might even clean out my fridge and cupboards - fill them with healthier choices. That's a lot for one day but you started my day with a better mindset. Here goes.... I'll report back later. :)


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