Sunday, April 22, 2018

A step back in time - YASP

Image result for glow sticks hanging in trees
Eric mailed me a package that sent me back in time to our dating days; when he was courting me and I was drawing lines in the sand, afraid of relationships and getting hurt again. His gift was placed in a funny little box with a cloth bow.  No special occasion, I found six glow sticks and a new toy.  His card stated that upon his return, we would hang the glow sticks in a tree out back and play under the lights.

Image result for YASPThe card was signed YASP.  Back in the day,
I used to find Eric's business card on my windshield with "YASP!" sketched next to his name. "You are so pretty". Those letters sent me through a time machine of falling in love...

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Eric discovered my favorite animal is the elephant.  He surprised me with a trip to the zoo, handmade a card for me with a fun fact, "Elephants don't eat peanuts" and gave me a box of animal crackers that I still have. That was the day I wished he would hold my hand, even though I'd been pushing him away.

Having been on my own for a long time, Eric did little things, like leave a bag
of fertilizer on my front porch when it was time to get the lawn greened up.
Scotts Turf Builder Lawn Food, 5,000 sq ft, Multicolor Suddenly, the single girl had the best yard on the block.

So many memories. I used to write Eric cards everyday that he was gone. He used to surprise me with lunch in the middle of the day "Come on Amy, I got a hall pass, let's play!", a massage certificate, or a card just letting me know he loves me. I used to undo his belt, slide down his zipper, and play with him under the table at lunch while chatting about mundane topics so the neighboring tables had no interest in us. He brought me to life sexually and sometimes I just couldn't resist, him.

I love what we have today and don't want to give any of it up, but I do miss the days of hot pursuit and playful gestures on both of our parts. I've got my glow sticks and toy waiting at the sliding glass door with a soft picnic blanket and a heart full of anticipation. 11 days. "YASP" he says. "YASP"


Thursday, April 19, 2018


Lost three pounds

Steps this week : 37,097

Average calories : 1158

Lack of sleep : TOO MUCH

Eric home in two weeks - miss him.


Tuesday, April 17, 2018

My New Friend, Echo Alexa

After the whole sleep vs. phone call thing yesterday, I actually overslept AGAIN today. This time, I missed Eric's middle of the night call.  I woke up to a room full of sunlight.  Panic.

I jumped out of bed and grabbed the phone.  I called Eric immediately, brain still foggy.  He was in a meeting but stepped out to make sure I was okay.  My sleepy voice was a dead give-away.

"Amy Lynn," he said sweetly, "did you over sleep?!"

That's when I blew it.

"It's not my fault," I said as though I was an incapable child, "I told Alexa to wake me up but when she did, I must have told her to turn off in my sleep."

Eric laughed.

"Alexa? Alexa is responsible for you now?"

Oh geez.  That did it.  My husband suddenly became a comedian and the entire day has been filled with texts from "Alexa" to Amy.  Ha ha.  He's pretty funny. I'm starting to miss him even more; something I didn't think was possible.

"I miss you," I pouted.

He's assured me Alexa will keep me company until he comes home.



Monday, April 16, 2018

Spanked from 6263 Miles Away

Eric and I talk every morning.  And by morning, I mean, there is an A and an M after a very tiny number nestled somewhere between a 2 and a 4. Based on where he is and our schedules, it's really the only time that works but he always says, "If you need the sleep, we'll just text and email."

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Give up live conversation? The sultry sound of his voice?! No way, buddy. No, no way.

Anywho... yesterday morning went completely south.  I had worked all day Saturday and fell into bed by 8:30.  I slept hard initially but the stress of the job, distance, life; it all crept in and had a party in my head. Our conversation at 3am was filled with frustration and his answer was once again, "We don't need to talk every morning. If you need the sleep, I want you to take it."

(See picture above. Read the words.  Repeat, A LOT LOUDER, three times, and follow with a tsunami of tears.)

We got off the phone. I reached out to a friend and in the two minutes it took her to reply, I fell sound asleep. So sound, I missed my alarm and three phone calls from people wondering where I was.  I woke up 45 minutes late for work.

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I texted Eric what happened while I scrambled to put on something clean with shoes that matched. He immediately wrote back, "Cap cream and get to work."

Now, I realize there was a mixed reaction to Baker's Dear Abby...errrr Dear Amy? post regarding capsicum cream but trust me, when your husband is away as much as mine is, you tend to get creative. Buns ablaze, I went to work with a clearer head and the feeling that Eric had my back; errrr... my backside as it were.

Another impossibly long day at the office.  We didn't end until after 10pm.  Exhausted again, I crawled into bed but rather than sleep, anxiety kicked in. What if Eric and I didn't talk anymore? What if he chose sleep for me over conversation? What if my physical health meant more to him than my emotional well-being? I tossed and turned under the realization that this could be a true test of ttwd because "leaning in" to a decision that meant even less time connecting with each other was not on my list of submissive capabilities.

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3am rolled around but rather than ring, my phone blinked once and a text appeared, "Are you awake Sweet Pea?"

Awww.  My heart melted right there.  Eric hasn't called me Sweet Pea in a really long time and I love that nickname.

I immediately wrote back, "Shhh.  Amy's sleeping but I can talk to you."

In whispered tones, we had a silly phone call as though Amy was actually passed out in the corner while Sweet Pea chatted and flirted with Eric.  By the end of the conversation, we both confessed how important these phone calls are to each of us but I also admitted how hard life has recently become with health returning and the constant sense that I'm so far behind on everything I'll never catch up.  Once again, overwhelmed with a plate too full but a reluctance to letting any of it go. We know how we would handle it if Eric were home so we agreed to work together from afar until he can get back.

Hemione's Brunch topic was about the hairbrush this week and I'd discussed the post with Eric. In the wee hours of a Monday morning, he told me to get out that hairbrush and talked me through ten whacks on each cheek to get the week started off right. Then he had me close my eyes and brush my hair while he spoke softly through the phone, helping me to imagine he was there.

Conair Ceramic Paddle Brush, Brown
I'm off to start another insanely busy week but I feel good.  My confidence and drive are intact, I feel close to my husband even though he's way too far away, and I'm ready to take on my challenges one step at a time.

"Put one foot in front of the other...."

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Have a good week, everyone!


Friday, April 13, 2018

FFF11 and Grapefruit Scented Gloomaway

It's the middle of the night and Eric just broke the news to me: he's not coming home until May 3rd.

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I took it in stride and then jumped in a hot bath with my favorite grapefruit scented soap. Eric gave it to me for Christmas; aptly named Gloomaway. It's got a fresh sparkly smell that brings calm and happiness amidst the suds.

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FFF 11 results - the 18/6 plan is still working and my knee is better each day.
Weight loss totals 12 pounds.
Average calories per day 890.
Steps this week 38,495.

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Tonight I encourage all of you, who have your lover nestled in bed beside you, but who may have let the world irritate and get in the way of the love you share, to WAKE UP and appreciate the fact that you can be together.

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Saturday, April 7, 2018

FFF 10

It's the tenth week of Fitness for Friday and I'm finally on board. Woo hoo!  Been out of blog land for a bit visiting my daughter while Eric is traveling.  Internet has been spotty, to say the least, so it's been impossible to get on more than a minute or two at a time.  At a Starbucks stealing wifi at the moment so will try to do some fast writing and reading before you all forget me!

The stats:

Eric - Still a Rock Star.  He's held his 14 pound loss even with the corporate dinners and hotel food. Looking mighty fine, that man o' mine.

Amy - Lost 4 pounds at my daughters house! Woo hoo. More importantly, I've been six days without any pain killers or other drugs. Feeling like I might be getting away from them for good. :)

The food part: I tried a version of Lindy's 18/6 plan which I discovered really works for me.  I start my day with a Cup o' Joe.  Then, whatever time I have my first meal, the clock ticks for six hours during which I can munch on healthy meals, snacks, drinks, whatever.  Once that six hours is up, I'm off food for another 18.  It sounded terrible but actually was quite easy - fit my lifestyle.  We'll see if it works when I'm back in the grind of the J-O-B.

The physical part: I am wearing my Fitbit and the knee is good enough that I hit 5000 steps two of five days.  Not bad considering I've been as low as 400-500 a day while recovering.  It's been two months. I get a little better each day.

The mental/emotional part: It's hard not having Eric home and I miss him all the time but I've been surrounded by friends and family since he left. The lesson here? I'm not good being alone.  I need interaction. I'm a people person!!

Congrats to everyone who has been on the bandwagon all along.  It's time for the rest of us to catch up!


Tuesday, March 27, 2018

Getting to Good

It was a long weekend away. A retreat of sorts; full of deep conversation, connection, and play.  Eric learned a lot about my childhood, my first experiences, and my fantasies. I learned a lot about his childhood, his first experiences, and his fantasies. We played "Confessions", the game of money, career, sex, relationships, and family.  We took each others answers and turned them into passion.

At the hotel room, Eric and I took tubes of different colored frosting, the kind used to decorate cakes and purchased in any grocery store baking aisle.  We decorated our bodies for each other - blue, green, and pink kissable areas where we liked to be touched. Yellow - nothing worth focusing on and RED hot pleasure spots.  Off limit sections of skin were to be painted with purple icing.  That tube landed in the trash, unopened. Apparently we have nothing "off limits".

Eric dared me to tell him my wildest fantasy, without fear of ridicule or judgement.  He honored me by hearing it without making a face or questioning why. Then he promised to some day, make it come true.

I dared Eric to take me to a place he visited often in childhood and without fear of rejection or judgement, take me there, in the wilderness.

I shall not kiss and tell. 

I'll just tell.  :D

As we drove alongside the mountain where Eric camped as a child, he warned me that we were on vacation and any mention of work or him leaving or my health would require me to remove a piece of clothing.  By the time we got to where the picnic tables were (thank goodness there was nobody around!) I was stripped down to my socks and tennis shoes. We walked (I hobbled), to a large downed tree where I could comfortably rest my knee while he tooketh me.  (Shakespearean?)

Afterwards, Eric jogged back to fetch my clothes.  Then he stood at the car yelling out, "Amy Lynn!  Get your clothes on, young lady!  What are you doing down there in nothing but your shoes."  Funny guy.  Knee problems or not, this girl can hustle under the threat of bare ass exposure. ;)

A final night - sweet love on a balcony overlooking an incredible skyline. Amazing.  We didn't want to leave. We stayed until the very last second possible.  I returned to work exhausted and still smelling of him.

Now it's Tuesday and Eric was going to begin traveling again the Monday after Easter.  His trip has been bumped up to Thursday. We only have tomorrow and it will be spent mostly packing... but that's okay.  We are good.  Really, really good.


Saturday, March 17, 2018

FFF 7 - Eric is lookin' mighty fine!

Eric jumped on FFF two weeks ago.  He's incredible. 13 pounds down. Sexy. Wearing clothes he'd shoved in the back of the closet years ago. Portion control. Healthy choices. He avoids situations where he would be tempted. Amazing.

Amy? Not so good. Down 2.2 pounds. Averaged 1200 calories a day all week.  Took 29,000 steps over the week but ended up back on the couch with ice packs and a swollen knee. Grrrr!!!!

This morning I went for a slow easy walk.  Got about six blocks from home and the sky opened, the wind picked up, and rain fell.  I looked like a drowned rat by the time I got back.  Eric found me shivering at the door.

"Why didn't you call me to pick you up?!" he asked, stripping wet clothes off  and taking me upstairs.  He ran a hot bath and dumped a whole cup of Mr. Bubble in the tub.

I relaxed. Sunk down in the bubbles. Breathed.

Then Eric appeared with my phone in his hand.  He'd found it on the washing machine where I'd left it when I went out on my walk.

Out of the water, skin warm and red, over the lap of my love.

Spank, spank, spank.

"Amy Lynn! Don't you ever leave this house without your phone."

Spank, spank, spank.

"You're already pushing it by walking on that knee."

Spank, spank, spank.

In the corner, nipples against the wall, hands at my sides, my ass tingled and I rested.

The rain came on strong outside and we found ourselves between the sheets.

Wednesday, March 14, 2018

Questions for Eric from Hoss

How do I read when to stop?  My wife has shown that sometimes I stop too soon.  We haven't ever gone too far.

Consistency.  She has moods and sometimes it is frustrating to not discipline in the moment, but I don't want to discipline angry.  We have problems with being consistent on a daily basis as life gets in the way.  I need to redirect during those times and would appreciate suggestions on what others do or think.

Eric: As Amy and I got more in tune with each other and this dynamic, she became comfortable letting me know what she was feeling and how far I could take things.  I always say, this is not a silent movie. Speak up.  By giving me the keys, I can do a better job in my role.  Amy has taught me that the spanking is only part of the experience.  Taking my time, having the conversation, corner time or something to focus on - touching on the emotional/mental side is as important as the physical.  I don't worry about going too far because we have a safe word.  There have been times when I think she's taken all she can but I ask if she's had enough. Sometimes she's said no.  You both need to talk.  It's a tango. You both need to dance.

It's hard for us to be consistent when I'm traveling all the time.  We've come up with other things to keep Amy's mind where she is happiest.  Sometimes I'll have her self discipline while we're on the phone.  Sometimes I'll give her a list of things to get done while wearing a plug or some capsicum. It's all about the connection.  When life gets in the way, do your best to connect one way or another.

Can't say I've ever disciplined while angry but I have been frustrated with Amy as times.  I find whispering in her ear what I'll be dishing out later (you're getting the belt tonight, young lady) is enough to swing her.  The key is to follow through. If you don't plan on doing something, don't say you will.  The anticipation is just step one.  The discipline that comes later is step two.  The love afterwards is step three.  We always talk about it the next day. I need to know how she really feels and find she's more open a day or so later.

Amy: To clarify - the plug is one thing. Capsicum is something all together different. They are not a package deal. ;0

Sunday, March 11, 2018

Discovering Eric51% and Amy49%

March is "ask anything" month and since my accident, I've been lucky enough to have my husband home with me. We've answered all of your questions together and we have even jumped on the FFF bandwagon, determined to lose thirty pounds between the two of us. We've had two and three hour conversations about many of the topics that Q&A brought to light so thank you and please don't hesitate to ask anything else you'd like to know. We are learning so much about each other and yes, Eric is in to do a blog post but suggests we come up with singular topic for all of the HOH's to address.

Vulnerability is a topic that pops up in blog land rather frequently.  The past two weeks, I've been physically getting stronger and being back at work half time has got me mentally more upbeat. As the month slips away, Eric is noticing an edge to me, one of frustration, fear, and frantic feelings.

"Why?" he asks. "Why are you getting all wound up?"

Wednesday: "I'm still hurting, and you're going to be traveling again soon."
Thursday: "I don't like being alone, and you're going to be traveling again soon."
Friday: "I'm afraid to drive, and you're going to be traveling again soon."

Eric is no dummy.  He picked up on my theme even before I did.

Saturday: "Go get the cheese board, Amy Lynn," was the order of the morning, "I need to clear your head before breakfast."

The neighbor was outside, hood up on a project car, just below our bedroom window.  We went into the closet and Eric had me hold onto the top rack of hanging shirts.  My black spandex shorts hugged my cheeks and provided little cushion to the wooden paddle making it's mark. A slow start, Eric tapped each side while reiterating in my mind that I am not a helpless girl.  He increased the force of each blow, reminding me to breathe, and running his fingers over my back every now and then to see the affect he was having; small beads of sweat building as my butt began to sizzle. Eric spanked to return my confidence.  His words, his belief, and his physical display managed to get me off the ledge.

"Take everything off," Eric commanded and then forced me in front of the mirror.  "Look at your red ass and your beautiful body. Look at the beautiful woman I love. You are incredible. I need you to see that."

Vulnerable. I want to see it. Want to believe it.

"You need more," Eric stated and I nodded., turning into his body and holding on for dear life.

"What do yo want?" he asked.

I wanted him to say he wasn't going to travel anymore.  I wanted him to say he was going to stay home and take care of me for the rest of my life.  I wanted him to say I didn't have anything to worry about ever again because he was going to be there for me forever.

I paused, drinking in the scent of his cologne, and then walked back into the closet.  I took his black leather belt off the hook in the corner and handed it to him.  Without a word, I placed my hands back on the clothing rack and closed my eyes.

Eric did not hold back, but he took the time to let me react, settle into the feeling, and accept each stroke.  Deep red welts wrapped around my bottom and the sting brought a sense of peace to my brain.  He took me to bed and made slow, purposeful love to me.

Saturday afternoon, Eric made me drive as we ran errands and took care of thing around the house. He made me walk at the grocery store. He made me get cash from the bank. He made me see that I am strong and independent and can do everything that I need to do to get by.

Sunday morning, lounging in my husband's arms, the edge is gone. The twinge of sad loneliness is prepped and ready for him to take flight again but there is no fear.

"About yesterday," Eric said, rolling me over and tracing the marks left behind by his belt, kissing gently each patch of color.  "It's important to me that you are always able to take care of yourself. I could be hit by a train tomorrow and you would have to carry on without me."

I flipped back over and stared into his sincere blue eyes.

"Are you leaving me?" I asked. "Are you checking the boxes so you can walk away and not feel any guilt because you think I don't need you?"

Eric was baffled.

"No," he replied. "I love you enough to make sure you can always take care of youself."

March Matters: Questions from Lea

What’s something that happened or something that someone said that changed how you view the world?

What BDSM or Kink-related thing have you not yet done that you want to try?

Amy: Oh Lea, Eric is going to love that second question. LOL.  I spent about fifteen years of my life  happily believing that everything happens for a reason.  Then, my whole world shattered when someone convinced me that all he cared about was my best interest; which turned into an abusive out of control nightmare that lasted the better part of seven years. I could not rationalize in any way, shape, or form how that period of my life could have happened for a reason.  Then, I met Eric.  We both enjoy the spanking dynamic of our relationship but had I not had the past experience that I did, we probably would not have handled our coming together so well.  I have triggers and things that still affect me today but it is in taking the time to understand those things that has allowed Eric to break through my protective walls and get in where my heart truly lies.  One man destroyed my view of love in the world; another man restored it.

As for BDSM or Kink-related?  I would like to explore bondage with Eric.  Whenever we are enacting our disciplined lifestyle, I know that I have a choice at all times.  I can move. I can cover my bottom. I can ask him to stop.  The trust is there, I know Eric would never really hurt me, and I want to push the envelope because I keep reading about "subspace" but don't believe we've gotten there. So, I would like to be bound to the point that I feel like I don't have a choice (Please don't misread this, Bloggers. I always have a choice.) and then we can both see how far I can go. 

Eric: I'd like to believe that I'm pragmatic and think things through so I can't really say my view of the world has ever changed, it's just grown.  

The second question is a very long list. St. Andrew's Cross, Shadow Lane, and much more. Of course a threesome is on the list. Relax ladies, I'm a guy and the question is about fantasies. It all plays out in my head. I have a pretty wife who I think the world of and I want to make all of her sexual fantasies come true.  Sometimes I catch other men looking at her and I think, "That's right, buddy. She's with me. I get to go home with that gorgeous creature every night."  The voyeur in me wants to show her off.

Image result for question mark clipart It's March!  Feel free to ask us anything.