Monday, September 11, 2017

Spanking Inventory

Eric read my last two posts; two I might add, I was tempted to delete.  They started a conversation. Good enough.

"Amy," Eric leaned in and kissed me on his way to the garage this morning. "We're going to be taking inventory tonight so be ready."

I assumed he meant at work.  I assumed he meant he'd be home later than usual.  I assumed "be ready" meant, "you're on your own again tonight".  I assumed wrong.

Eric continued.

"Tonight is not about discipline or playtime or a reset.  As my role as HOH, it is important to me that whatever spanking implement I use, in whatever situation, is appropriate.  Therefore, tonight we will be taking an inventory of every implement we own.  You will receive ten swats with your jeans on and ten swats on your bare bottom. You will rank each one by it's level of intensity so I can do a better job."

I stood speechless (a rare occurrence) while my mind surveyed the array of thoughts, emotions, and feelings I was suddenly experiencing.  It was obvious Eric understood my fear of trying ttwd to get me to a better place, with the threat of it not working, a disappointing blow I'm not sure I could handle.  "Inventory" is not personal.  There is no end game expectation beyond a count and ranking.

Emotionally, I need a good cry and spankings rarely bring me to tears but inventory? Might just be impersonal enough to take me to the edge and possibly over it.

And physically, I got that tingling feeling in my butt that happens whenever my husband utters the name, "Amy Lynn!" or says those words, "Upstairs young lady!".  Is it just me?  Do you get that break out of goose bumps on the back of your legs, that wet spot, the tingle, and a flock of butterflies in your stomach?  Inventory.  The feelings were all there.

This afternoon, I'll be carefully cleaning out our chest and lining each implement in a row on our kitchen counter.  The scale is one to ten; one being light and ten bringing immense pain.  I'm not frightened and I don't have an unrealistic list of expectations of what is to come.  After all, it's just inventory.

Amy

8 comments:

  1. Amy,
    Yikes! We have never done an inventory. Jack likes his leather paddle and other implements have come and gone. Good luck and report back.
    Meredith

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  2. This is a new concept for us. I'll let you know what happens. Have about an hour and then I will start hauling everything out. Eric was kind enough to say I could arrange the implements in any order I'd like. Smallest to largest? By material? Color? So many decisions. ;)
    Amy

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  3. One smart man you have there...I knew he would find a way..I would arrange by material a warmed up bottom by the time it was wood things...hope it released some of those demons and tears...hugs abby

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    Replies
    1. The arrangement you suggested was an excellent idea! Too bad I didn't see it until now.
      Amy

      Delete
  4. Years ago Barney did a similar thing- though I didn't have to refeel each one. There was one I was afraid of- long story but he disposed of it right away. He didn't ask me to rate them pain wise but effectiveness and when to use what- sort of what abby implied. For me anyway, it can depend on when such implement is used during the 'session'. It was a difficult task as I felt a little embarrassed being so frank and honest about spanking implements, but really how are they to know? It isn't like THEY are on the receiving end!

    Anyway I hope it all worked out for you. I have been there myself. There have been a few times I have said to Barney, "I'm afraid. What if this doesn't 'work'?". Every time he has said, " Me too" and for whatever reason that honest exchange helped before the spanking even started.

    willie

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    Replies
    1. You are right, Willie. It's all about the effectiveness, not about causing pain. Eric never wants to hurt me. That's not the point. He wants this to help me and if that weren't the case, it would never work for either of us.

      I have been afraid a lot lately, of everything I guess. I was thinking Eric doesn't want to spank me anymore but just because time hasn't allowed for it, doesn't mean he has given up or changed. I did ask about a week ago and was told, "I should wash your mouth out with soap for even suggesting such a thing." Seems that should have been answer enough!

      Amy

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  5. Amy, I found this post to be both serious and humorous. Reminded me of cleaning out a closet and deciding which items to keep. Cleaning with an edge, though.

    Ella

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  6. It seems everything in my life has an edge to it right now. I'm ready for some fun, or maybe a bit of funny would do! We all get stuck with these ups and downs in life but don't you think by this age, we deserve some up, up and aways?!
    Amy

    ReplyDelete

Thank you for reading! Thank you even more, if you decide to comment. :)