I heard the garage door open and sat tentatively in the living room. My phone beeped and deja vu set in with a text repeated from earlier in the day.
"Go to the car."
I had a flash, imagined my bare bottom bent over the hood of the car while being lectured by my husband on the purpose of an on/off switch. I took a deep breath, reminded myself to leave Miss Mouthy in the house, and walked out the door.
At first, I didn't see Eric but then realized he was in the passenger seat. Confused, I opened the door to the drivers side and got in. OMG. That man. There he was, clip board in hand, passing me a homemade business card with this on one side and "Ben Dover, DMV Instructor" on the other.
I laughed and called him "Eric" but no, he was fully in character.
"Miss Amy Lynn, you will refer to me as Mr. Dover for the remainder of this lesson and I expect you to take this seriously. Could you pass a driving test?"
The temptation to roll my eyes when he actually handed me a DMV booklet and the manual to my new car was overwhelming, but I remained steadfast and simply replied, "Yes Sir".
"You know, young lady," he boomed, "Safe driving is no accident."
How that man can keep a straight face is beyond me. I was dying and sure I would bust out laughing any time. Eric went on and on, through the Hybrid checklists, through parts of the manual, had me adjust mirrors and set up my hands free blue tooth.
It was pretty funny to begin with but actually, by the time he was done, I knew more about the car than I have any vehicle I've driven in the past twenty-five years. My mirrors are in the right place! My seat is the right height! I'm almost as smart as my smart car!
After a reminder about the importance of NEVER TEXTING while driving, I was KISSED by Mr. Ben Dover, DMV Instructor. Naturally, I did not want to seem rude, so I kissed him back.
At dinner I asked, "Aren't you going to spank me for leaving the car on this afternoon?"
Eric shook his head.
"Honey, that could happen to anyone. I should have taken the time to show you everything when we bought the car to begin with."
There was a moment of silence and then he got that adorable little glint in his eye that always lets me know he is up to something.
"Did you WANT a spanking tonight?" he asked suggestively raising his eyebrows up and down.
I blushed and grinned and suddenly could not find my tongue.
Yes bloggers, I got a "spanking" but it wasn't the kind I expected. ;)