Saturday, August 19, 2017
Eric didn't make me wait any longer
I am the Queen of giving 100% to everything,
and then with nothing left, losing myself in the mix.
I love so deeply, the threat of being hurt often
causes me to push away what I need the most.
Eric did what I asked and left me with
the pain inside overshadowing
the love I have for him.
When you peel back the layers,
who do you see?
I'm in here, wanting to come out.
Fear of rejection traps me.
Eric called today. He spent almost two hours
on the phone with me. We agreed that neither
of us liked how we left things. He said, "You
have so much on your plate, when you took me
off it, I figured you needed whatever break you
could get so I gave it to you."
I said, "Being away from you is never a break.
When I push you away, it's because I'm afraid
you won't be there when I look for you and
that you will hurt me."
Thank you Bloggers for being there for me, him, us.
I've got a few things I need to focus on now.
Eric will be back the 28th but made it clear,
"nothing has changed" from where he stands.
Now that I can let go of the feeling that things are not
right between us, I can do what needs to
be done to make everyone else, including me, better.