We have company coming this weekend and suddenly nothing in the house seems right. The yard has brown spots, the carpet is disgusting, and even the wall color appears wrong.
Naturally, I'm handling it like a champ. Snapping at everyone, "yelling" out directions to anyone within a square mile, and ranting endlessly about this, that, or the other. Finally, Eric had enough.
"Amy Lynn," he stated after listening to a twenty minute scream fest directed at some poor $8 per hour customer service rep because the napkin rings I purchased through Amazon are on back order.
"You are going to bed."
"Are you nuts?" I bit his head off. "It's barely noon and I've got a million things to do before Friday. If you and the kids would just step it up..."
He cut me off there.
"Young Lady! This is non-negotiable. Maybe you need a nap or maybe you don't, but either way the rest of us need a break so you're going to bed."
I was fuming.
"You are not going to tell me what I need," I stated and proving that I am a mature adult woman, I stomped my foot and marched upstairs where "the wind" accidentally slammed our bedroom door behind me.
A few minutes later, Eric came into the room.
He sat next to me on the our bed, gently rubbed my back, and kissed my cheek. Furious at my inability to resist him, giant crocodile tears began to pour down my face.
Eric spoke very softly but his tone was stern.
"Sweetheart. You are trying to do way too much and it's wearing on all of us. If you do not feel you need a nap right now, I will gladly put you over my knee first, and then you will be going to bed. Do you understand?"
My breathing increased, my eyes glared sideways, and through gritted teeth I challenged, "You wouldn't dare."
And that was that. Suddenly I found myself upended, pants down, legs pinned, and spanked a good forty swats with a wooden spoon. (Where on earth did that spoon come from?!)
After my spanking, I was given the choice of a little corner time or straight to bed.
Pout lipped and red bottomed, I pointed to the bed. Eric pulled back the sheets and I slid in, tummy down, convinced that sleep would never come.
Two hours have passed and I don't even recall Eric leaving the room. I'm refreshed, happy, calm. and much more reasonable. As a matter of fact, I don't mind the color on the walls one bit!