Sometimes I am such a child.
With that comes a wondrously playful, mischievous, creative side that brings adventure to even the most mundane of situations. Life is a game with daily roles played out based on mood, situation, and location. Eric, a well respected and professional leader, enjoys the light hearted nature this silly wife brings to his world and often steps up to play with me as well. We mentally thrive in verbal fantasy when we are apart and physically thrive even more when we are home or on the road together.
Unfortunately, too much of a good thing can go too far and when there is not balance, I get lost in a sea of doubt and hurt feelings; unable to respond in a logical adult manner but pouting my way through the emotions instead. It blindsides me and I don't figure it out until it is too late.
For Eric, I'll suddenly appear to be all over the board and his frustration will mount as he tries to hit a moving target. A good man, he wants to solve my problems and be whatever and whomever I need at all times. If the path he chooses yields an unexpected response, he often will stop talking and may even leave for a bit to work out another solution. The child inside me cries, unable to get past a sense of abandonment and incapable of realizing he will return.
In times like this, we both forget the primary issue that spurred my momentary behavior is always secondary to a truly easy fix that I desperately need. No matter what is going on, if Eric takes the time to make me feel safe and loved, provide me the security of being his girl, I will be unbreakable.
When we are together, this can be accomplished with a passionate kiss in his arms or a trip over his knee. Both distract my brain from whatever is clogging my ability to productively problem solve and rationally move forward. The kiss provides a coating of confidence around my heart and a red ass clears the clutter of doubt in my mind.
When we are apart, the same thing can me accomplished with the words, "I love you" and a stern lecture or directions to follow, thus refocusing my brain. Sometimes a round of self discipline and corner time with Eric in my ear backs me away from the cliff; while other times a good cum with a toy and his voice on the line gets my wheels churning again. In extreme situations when there is little time and great distance between us, even the promise of a night of passion or the threat of an old fashioned spanking will be enough to keep me grounded.
The happy child in me naively believes I can do anything I set my mind to and will never stop trying as long as I have the security of love. When life puts bumps in the road, they can be dealt with together or often, I can handle them on my own as long as that sense of security and love is in place.
The insecure child in me fears Eric will get annoyed and stop loving me, will change his mind or will leave me or worse, never come home to me but vanish instead. During those moments, I shut down and freeze. Both situations may be irrational but such is the mind of a grown up child. Many times the insecurity is not even caused by him but an infusion of security from him can end my suffering.
Just spank me and kiss me. That's all you need to know.