Saturday, July 9, 2016

Women, ttwd, computer love - a metaphor for men

Willie inspired me to think differently.
"Think like a man," she challenged.
Okay men, see if this makes sense...

Remember the day you first saw me on the shelf? I was sleek, shiny and new. 


You checked me out and the more intrigued you became, the more you wanted to turn me on.
When you did, I glowed and became down right radiating.

 Image result for sexy computer screen saver

Time was lost on you as you scrolled through my files, discovering shortcuts to hidden icons, which buttons to push and which buttons would cause me to crash. You loved tinkering with me, boosting my hard drive and filling my memory banks. (Is that what you call it these days? Ha ha.) 


Image result for sexy computer screen saver

Eventually, I became yours and we had daily interaction. You did your best to protect me, firewalls and anti-virus software. You performed installation updates regularly and on occasion, bought sexy shatter proof cases to ensure I would never get broken.


laptop

Sometimes I would slow down, my desktop too crowded and a drive or two almost full.  Every 
once in awhile, you'd find I wouldn't turn on no matter what you tried. It could take weeks before 
I was fixed and even then, there was always the threat of that angry blue screen; 
the horror-moan virus having popped up again. 


Image result for computer spanking
Image result for computer crash blue screen








Files would grow too big, data plans explode with an overload of media and noise
from the outside world and my screen would dim; folders stuffed with outdated
junk mail and spam infecting even the best programs. 

The worst was when I looked like me and sounded like me, but behaved so erratically
it was as though I was possessed. Hacked. Time for a reset. 



With all of the love and skill in the world, only you can restore me to my
factory settings. We both know that intense moment of shutting me down and taking me
back to the beginning won't permanently wipe away any of the old programming
but it does reinstall a peaceful euphoria to the core of my central processing unit. 

Image result for 100 guarantee

ttwd - it's merely a maintenance contract to keep
your equipment functioning properly and your warranty intact.


Amy

12 comments:

  1. LOL....well that is ONE way to think like a man. Very cute.

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    1. I wonder if any men will read it... or comment? Hmmm. Amy

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  2. Oh and *ahem* great minds think alike?

    http://barneymarriedwilma.blogspot.ca/2013/03/back-to-factory-settings.html

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    1. Whoah! No way!! I'm only three years behind. :) Amy

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    2. Not really. If you think about it this way, you are right in line with my 'adventure' in ttwd. You wrote around the same point in your adventure that I did! LOL

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    3. Excellent! I look forward to following your path. :) Amy

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  3. You are so clever...great post.
    hugs abby

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    Replies
    1. Thanks Abby. Being silly on the one hand but quite serious on the other. This girl needs her reset. Six Hour Saturday was intense but I'm rather missing it right now. Amy

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  4. Nice post Amy, very cute
    love Jan, xx

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  5. I have to share this one with hubby ... this is a language he can understand. Great post!

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    Replies
    1. Maybe if you share this and wear that dress, you'll get a reboot tonight! ;)

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