I've never felt so close to Eric as I do today.
He challenged me to let go of some of the negative voices in my head.
He spanked me in the kitchen with the cheese board to clear my mind.
Then up to our room, he stripped me of all clothing and pulling out his favorite leather strap, had me lay across his lap.
"Tell me what you hear in your head, the things that haunt you, and let me help you let them go."
At the risk of being, I can't say vulnerable because we are all learning it's not the most accurate choice of words... at the risk of being ridiculed or rejected in such a raw state, I threw caution aside and just said the words that are trapped in my brain.
Eric talked a lot, in between every hard slap of stiff folded leather.
"Let it go, honey," he said over and over. "Don't allow the past or other people to control who you are or who you want to be."
He whipped my bottom until I said the words, "I'm letting it go." and then he rubbed my back and hair while I cried into the carpeted floor.
Eric sat me on his lap and held me like a small child. I buried my face in his neck and allowed his strength to engulf my quivering everything.
"I know there is more," he stated, forcing my gaze to meet his. "We can't remove it all today but I think you can take another thing off your mind."
I nodded, unable to speak, as he gently put me over his knee once again. More words. More pain flowing from my lips.
The leather strap was relentless until I gave and released the ache in my heart. Back on Eric's lap and in his arms, he untangled countless hours I've lost worrying about things that will never come to pass.
Eric kissed and caressed me, cradled and comforted me, and then he took me to the closet for one last round with his weapon. Hands overhead, holding on tight, Eric lashed out with quick succinct blows to each cheek until I couldn't take another strike. My ass was red and on fire. He moved to my back, deep cutting swats across my shoulder blades, igniting my sexuality.
In front of the mirror, I viewed a crimson behind as Eric filled my head with his view of the girl in his arms.
"You are so pretty. You are so smart. You carry yourself with such confidence."
I worry that hearing of my past will scare him away. After three and a half years, he questions why he wouldn't have already gone.
"I'm not going to cut and run," he spoke with surefire conviction in his voice.
On the bed, I spread my ass cheeks to him and his cock made it's way deep inside. He filled me perfectly and rode me hard, pulling my hair and banging his hips into mine. He knew, with every thrust, I would believe his words and feel his love more intensely, more passionately.
I came. I'm sure I was more verbal than usual.
He flipped me over and came on my stomach; silky white liquid pulsating all over my skin while I looked at his cock nestled above the soft tuft of hair at my crotch. Before dressing, he drew the infamous sharpie heart on my right cheek.
Eric bought a bracelet tonight, for me to wear as a visual reminder of our relationship yesterday, today and tomorrow; without the clutter of the outside world or my manufactured insecurities. His job is changing and we will see each other very little in August. I am not going to let this scare me. Our bond is stronger than that.
I have never felt closer to Eric than I do today, right now.
Help me hold onto this feeling.
Amy, simply in love.