Friday, March 11, 2016

ttwd - how long? A question from Jan.

Jan's question:
I would like to know how long you and Eric have been at ttwd? Whose idea was it in the first place?


Hi Jan!

Thanks for the question. 

All readers, it's only a third of the way through March so bring them on!  :)

Eric and I were married three years before we talked about or discovered we both have a thing for him spanking me.  I was on my own (with kids) for over ten years and when I got overwhelmed, would self discipline to keep going. One day, I admitted my secret motivational technique to Eric and it turned out, he was very interested in hearing more. He did a lot of reading, researched DD, and we spent hours and hours talking about what would make the most sense in our relationship. I'm pretty independent (hard to tell with all of my whining) and Eric is attracted to that side of me so being in a master/submissive kind of role didn't really work for us. However, ttwd gave more room for interpretation so that's how we got here.  I need the resets and Eric is a strong enough partner to want to give them to me rather than have me handling yet another thing on my own.  Punishment spankings - I fantasize about them, thinking the day Eric truly lays down the law, I'll have some cathartic breakthrough and will let go of my entire past, cry in his arms, be forgiven for all of the mistakes I've ever made and breathe. (No pressure there, huh? Poor man. Do you think he knew what he was stepping into with this girl?!) And finally, we have the playful, sexy, tie me down and dominate me fun spankings. We just started this in July. It's only been 8 months. Still learning... ttwd, ourselves and each other.

Amy


8 comments:

  1. Oh Nice. I think we all have fantasies about ttwd. Some unlikely to be filled and some happily will come true. For me the trick is to be happy with whatever level we attain. We are happy with the fun,we always say our lives have been hard enough without giving each other grief! I hope that you and Eric get to wherever you want to with this lifestyle
    love Jan,xx

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    1. Hi Jan, The trick for me is in finding happiness when Eric and I seem to be living such separate lives. It's almost as though, as soon as we figured out how much we have in common and want to explore together, the world stepped in and pulled us to other ends of the earth. Eric keeps telling me to learn patience. I'm trying. Cranky, Amy

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  2. It is so interesting to read what others define as ttwd. That is the beauty of ttwd. I will let you in on a little secret, the women I know who are in a master/slave and/or Dom/sub are some of the feistiest women I have ever met. So don't kid yourself that they don't maintain a level of independence, at least as far as their thoughts go. I will admit though depending on their definitions, it isn't for the faint of heart, especially if they are in a Total Power Exchange.

    The best thing is enjoying the ride, and discovering more about yourself. Labels aren't important and the more you learn the more you realize that. TTWD is a catch all. This Thing WE do ( the we can be the community, or the we can be the couple) may evolve into areas you never thought were 'you'. I know they have for us. Or they may not. Again the beauty of it all.

    willie

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    1. Hey Willie, I've no idea where we will end up on this and I have read the "independence" a lot of M/s bloggers portray in their relationships. We spend so much time apart, I don't know how we would... well, right now I don't know anything. I just love Eric and he's going through a lot with work so neither of us is quite on solid ground. Holding on tight for the ride. I miss him a lot but I can tell what he really needs is some space to decompress. Amy

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  3. I am about as stubborn as they come..and used to be very independent...then came Master. We just talking about that today..sounds like you two are doing great...you have the communication part all ready going for you. You version of TTWD will be right for both of you...and could be uniquely yours.
    hugs abby

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    1. Abby, Your posts have been very enlightening and helpful to us. Some days I think Eric would like a little more submission from me; but maybe just in the bedroom? I don't know. Still too new. At the moment, he'd like me to stop running around when I'm supposed to be recovering. We get very little time together these days but sometimes I wonder where this will end up when we are together again. We have so many things we want to try. Guess we'll just see what happens down the road. Amy

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  4. Your journey with TTWD seems to be right at this point. Think we all discover new things along the way that work for us and take another step. Just enjoy doing what you are at present. Its your journey and no one else can say hey you should be doing this or that.
    Hugs Lindy

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  5. Appreciate it Lindy! Eric will get back to you on your questions soon and when I experience figging, I'll write about it for you. Personally, I'd love for us to visit you! :) Amy

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