Saturday, June 24, 2017

Riding the cancer train

A text
My younger sibling
Results are in
Skin cancer

"They'll cut it out"

Two weeks from now
A four inch scar
I'll be there

We ride this train together

Sunday, June 4, 2017

What is FetLife all about?

I read blogs.

People mention FetLife here and there; many quit blogging once they join.

They quit writing everyday and pop in now and then to say their lives have changed drastically.

I watch videos.

People share email addresses and stories.

FetLife names pop up now and then.

The actors refer to each other by them.

I wonder.

What's it all about?

Can you enlighten me?


Saturday, June 3, 2017

Scolded by the wrong man

Discipline, punishment, spanking.

I can't explain why I crave it or what it does for me but when done correctly, it gives me the confidence and strength to conquer the world. I become Wonder Woman under the care and guidance of a strong, solid, squared away man.

My boss scolded me last night and again this morning.
I am sick to my stomach.
I feel stupid and insecure.
Not valued.

Eric has stripped me of my clothing, forced me to lay naked across his lap, paddled my bottom until I begged him to stop, and then watched as I squirmed in the corner.  He has called me "young lady" and grabbed me by the arm, marched me upstairs, and taken his belt to my backside.  He has pulled my hair, lectured me, and made me look at my red punished ass in the mirror while I mapped out how to behave better.

Not once.  Not one single moment in time, did Eric ever make me feel anything but loved and respected.  Not once, did I question my self esteem, or purpose, or ability under his hand.

Two extremes, a scolding by email and hard core mental, physical and emotional correction. It is the email that has me in tears.

I wish Eric was home so I could disappear in his arms and hide from a cruel cruel world.